Thursday, August 25, 2011

Plank Pullin': Where I admit that my husband is right

So a few weeks ago the husband and I had it out. Big time. In a major way. We both said everything that we felt like we needed to say and then some. And we promised each other to do better. What could I possibly be doing wrong you ask? Well, aren't you sweet. But in all honesty, a lot of things according to my husband. His main complaint? Too much internet. Imagine that. I know I know... I am changing the world via Facebook and my blog. But after hearing his complaints on this subject for the past four years, I'm finally ready to do something about it.

I unfriended almost everyone on my page and deleted a few of my pages and I made my husband the admin for two of the three pages that I still have. I have also stopped looking at my feed and I'm considering deleting everyone from my friends' list and just keeping up with people via the couple of groups that I'm running or a member of on Facebook. I've all but stopped blogging. I'm STILL not where I'd like to be but I'm working on it. I really am. I wish that I could create a block for Facebook that would keep me from being able to access it until after dinner. Sad, isn't it? Most days I cannot avoid turning on my computer because we use the internet for Spanish lessons or I need to email someone or look up a phone number, etc. It's so hard to not turn on FB. But I've made a lot of head way.

Has it made a difference in my marriage? Absolutely. My husband and I are talking again. He seems less angry with me and the children. He seems less depressed and down about the constant stress in his life. From having a kid with a serious illness to having vehicle troubles, he's had plenty of reasons to feel stressed out. But I see that he has a lot of reasons to feel happy and grateful too. I think he's starting to see that as well. He has started working out again... and eating healthier... and even juicing.

Amazingly, I've figured out that his theory about my computer usage was right. I really am more tuned in to the kids when the computer is turned off. I really do notice what they are doing and I am more successful in keeping them occupied, happy, content, and even safe. The days flow better and I am less distracted. He predicted that I'd find this and he was right.

I hope that I can continue to make adjustments to my days to where I'm eventually not using Facebook at all except at night. I'd like to schedule two blogging "sessions" per week and stick to that as well. If you have suggestions on how to manage online time please let me know!
Or if you just want to vent about your own issues with dependency upon online communication, I'd love to hear that I'm not alone!

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  1. Kudos to you, mama!! And YAY for God's immediate blessing on our little sacrafices, yes?

    I have been feeling for a LOOONG time that my internet *cough*facebook*cough* usage is problematic, but can't seem to break away. I realize that this is part of the reason I become so frustrated with Ella all day. :-/ This week, I set in motion a new habit of reading a chapter of Scripture aloud and praying with Ella BEFORE I do ANYTHING else. Used to be cracking open the macbook was my first thing, but now, I do the time with God and Ella, then I make her breakfast and get ALL of that situated BEFORE checking my Interwebz.

    I just need to work on the rest of the day, but I figure it's a start.

  2. I decided that I only turn on the computer when the kids are asleep (like 4am! LOL) and not at home.

  3. You are not alone in your FB (internet) addiction, I'm right there with you. But I don't think you can delete your regular page if you also have fan pages or you will lose those too. I still need to find my way to be more disciplined with my time and stay off the internet more. Praying about it. Thank you for your honesty, it helps me to know that others deal with it too.

  4. My life has improved so much in the months (maybe nearly a year by now?) since I canned facebook altogether. I've been able to keep in touch with people I want to keep in touch with by other (usually more personal & fulfilling) ways. I have also found that my relationships within my immediate family are far better when my partner & I are both limiting our internet use. We've both made a conscious effort & the rewards have been so tangible that we rarely feel tempted to return to excessive internet use. When we do find ourselves on the internet a lot we realise it's almost always because we're unsatisfied with something in our real lives & we're trying to escape.

    Regarding your request for tips on curbing internet use...
    You can get applications for all of the major browsers that block certain sites you've elected to block. The firefox version is called "leechblock", I don't know the name of other browser's site blockers but you'd be able to search for them if you entered something along the lines of "block certain websites" or "browser blocker".

    With leechblock you can choose a time of day to block & unblock the site, and you can also set yourself daily time limits so you get kicked off when you reach the time limit.

    Maybe give that a try :)

    I also find I'm less tempted by my computer if I make a point of going out or engaging in an activity with my children, when they're feeling satisfied they're less full on & therefore I feel less drawn to computer escapism.

    On that note... my daughter is having a meltdown! Time to get off the computer & head to the park.


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