Wednesday, June 8, 2011


“This week we want to…” Well, the Captain has been working on a new label for Ridiculous Chocolate. He is also hoping to have a friend redesign our website for us. The site doesn't look terrible but when I go to it, I want to immediately click away. And I hate that I feel that way about our own business's website! I am excited to send some business to my friend as well. We are also talking about working with Groupon. I'm occupied with wanting to get busy with learning to sew and getting busy with life again. Now that I'm nearly finished with my running program I feel anxious to tackle a new challenge. I am also trying to push through reading way too many books. I should only read two books at a time but instead I'm reading five. Hunter and Ronin are both interested in swimming swimming swimming this week. Hunter is also excited to visit a new restaurant in town called Cool Beans. Our friends told us that our favorite local live musician plays there on Friday nights and that they let the kids make their own pizzas. So he is pumped for that experience!

“The kids are…” ready for a vacation. We could all stand a break... away from home, away from hospitals, away from responsibilities. I don't see it happening but we can dream, right?

“I am learning….” that many of my health issues have been due to lack of sleep and exhaustion rather than anxiety. A lack of sleep or a lack of good long stretches of quality sleep seem to cause me to experience a physical anxiety. So I might be okay mentally and still feel like I'm having a constant panic attack. I'm extremely sensitive to caffeine and so I have to be super careful to not accidentally drink green tea that I thought was actually peppermint... and I have to give up my little sample of coffee at Trader Joes. A half glass of red wine seems to really help but I ran out of that and who has the extra money to go pick up wine, right? This week I've been sleeping well (thankfully) and today I felt good enough to get up and immediately complete week 8 of The Couch to 5K program. I guess I know that I have to guard my sleep more than anything if I want to feel amazing. And feeling amazing is the most important key to having a good life I've learned.

“I am struggling with…” finding time to write a quality blog post. It feels like all of my free time (and there is very little of it) is spent on the computer trying to get something done. I think it worked better when I sat down for a few hours and wrote out as many blog posts as I could and then scheduled them to post over the following week. I've moved away from that because there are so many blog hops and link ups that I do that I have trouble even remembering what all I need to post until the time comes. So I guess the choice is between blogging more frequently and therefore devoting more time to it or not bothering to do so many link ups at one time.

I've also been struggling with Hunter and his tendency to get disappointed. He's had several disappointments lately when plans to gather with friends have fallen through. Hunter "post-cancer" is a whole new creature and I'm learning how to deal with him. It's not easy though. He feels really rejected and sad when the plans he was looking forward to don't work out. The way we've been dealing with it is by trying to quickly plan something else equally exciting to take the place of the original plans but that is not always easy to do, especially at the last minute. I worry that maybe I should not even bother to make plans since they seem to fall through but if I don't work on making plans with people we'd probably never see anyone.

“This week is the first time….” that Hunter has ever taken it upon himself to work on his meds. He takes meds twice a day and suddenly he's keeping up with the time and he's getting the meds and syringes out of the cabinet on his own. He also asked his team yesterday if he could switch one of his meds that he takes twice a day on only Monday and Tuesday to a tablet instead. The liquid is really nasty tasting his says and it makes his belly hurt. Now that he's swallowing pills he thinks he's ready to handle the big pill. He was excited that they agreed to switch to a pill because he will be on this particular med until November 23rd, his one year anniversary post transplant.