I keep getting out my laptop, meaning to blog, but when I come to the new posting site, things just make no sense to me. As always. And I end up putting my computer away, blog not updated. I've been wanting to write about the fact that I've become a complete moron. Or my severe case of "placenta brain". Whatever you want to call it. But, I keep forgetting what I want to say.
The other night I decided to research this phenomenon in case it's not real and I might have a brain tumor (I told you that I've been paranoid as of late). But according to everything that I've read, it is real and I'm not alone. And one explanation for this dreadful condition is that, during pregnancy, mama's brain shrinks. Did you know this? It's true. I'm on baby number three and never had any idea that my brain was getting smaller and smaller with each child. Well, I mean, it goes back to its original size within six months so they say. But what if it doesn't?
A few short months ago I was running a non-profit organization, homeschooling regularly, organizing field trips, and a whole host of other activities. I dare say that I impressed other moms (and I say this because they would tell me so). Today, I can barely hold a conversation. And trying to get Artsy Mamas dates on the calendar for my hiatus is so incredibly confusing. Of course it doesn't help matters when people don't get back to me. "Doing school" is totally out of the question... all of our creative activities are out the window. I can read to the kids, sometimes, if I take huge steps to make sure that I'm not being winded from the constant state of anxiety and panic I seem to be experiencing. But that's about it. A stack of library books and the tv is about all I can handle right now.
As if I wasn't already crazy idiotic enough, I have a stomach virus and He-Man is suffering from a nasty little cold which causes him to sniff and cough at night, keeping me from sleeping. Severe sleep deprivation cannot be helping my brain to function.
So, in about six months I can expect to start functioning somewhat again. I can expect to be able to resume taking care of the family and leading the kids in creative learning activities. Until then I pray that I can maintain my self-esteem and not feel too bad about myself.