It always amazes me how transitions and a crisis period can really put things into perspective. This week I've been so incredibly humbled and thankful... and for some really odd things.
-Friends. Okay, so maybe it's not odd to be thankful for friends but the truth is, for the first time in my adult life, I feel like I actually HAVE friends for whom I can be thankful. The Lord has blessed me with new people who think similarly to me, have similar values as I do, and who strike me as stable... at least stable enough to remain my friend when the going gets tough. I feel secure in my new friendships and I don't feel a constant nagging fear and mistrust. It's exciting and encouraging.
-Not seeing my husband. As crazy as it may seem, I like not having him around. Why? Because when he is home, I'm happy to see him, he's in a much better mood than he was just a few short months ago, and I value my time with him more. Of course, I'd really hate it if I saw him any less and I'd not mind seeing him just a teeeeeensy bit more!
-Ability. Not that I was disabled or anything but I was starting to wonder if I'd ever drive again. I started driving again two days ago. I even felt so good today that I volunteered to take He-Man out tonight while we shopped for groceries. We shopped for two hours, in three different stores. On a Friday night. And while I'm a little tired, I made it through! I HATE grocery shopping but I was so thankful for the ability to do it that I actually enjoyed it a little! My brain even worked well enough this evening to allow me to organize the entire week's menu. I won't stick to it completely but I will at least be somewhat prepared when it's time for dinner and I'm confused!
-Kroger Closeout. I went shopping on the right night it seems. I bought four boxes of Ezekiel pastas, organic gluten free salad dressings, and organic Newman's Own Coffees (for the Captain) all on closeout. They were cheaper than some of their unhealthy competitors. I wanted some Ezekiel pasta soooo badly but I couldn't pay five bucks a box! Yeeeee haw!
-Leaps of faith. I've been letting my fear of the unknown and of the past dictate to me how I must handle this upcoming birth. After attending the Red Tent event on Saturday, I suddenly felt inspired to start considering another home birth. Now... I'm actually considering unassisted home birth. I'm not sure what we will go with. I will start interviewing midwives next week (whew, that's a lot of work) but I am so thankful for the ability to sit still and listen for His voice, something we all could probably stand to do more of.
-Support. This home school thing is a little foreign to me but it's appealed to my soul since I was small child and this lovely redhead girl with whom I was friends (the first Mormon I ever knew) was removed from school to stay at home to learn with all of her sisters. This intrigued me so much that I probably made fun of her. Now that I'm a mommy facing the reality of my baby starting school soon, I feel that I need to stand firm in my decision to home school. I was a bit wishy washy because my hubby seemed none too pleased with the idea. Of course, I joined a home school group anyway and the more I become involved with the concept the more I know, in my deepest heart of hearts, that I want to home school. At least He-Man. And at least during the early years. So, I finally pinned the Captain down yesterday and he declared that he supports me in giving it a shot. Hey, that's about all I could ask for, huh?