I know this might sound ridiculous since I'm at home with them every day all day long. But I do. I miss them. I've been so busy "working" and "grieving" that I've missed out on a lot of the things that I had planned to do with them. I had all of these fantasies of baking muffins and teaching them to write and draw. But instead I just work and work and for what? I have nothing to show for the months that I've been working more than full time for no pay other than a big jumbled up mess. At least when I invest my time into my children, there is a guaranteed return of gratitude and product.
I feel so alone and useless. And I miss my mom. I want to just take my kiddos and go away for a few days. Just me, them, and the wide open road. We'll see. If we had a reliable vehicle, I might would take them away for a while.
Off to spend some quality time with my daughter. I'm sure there will be giggles and lots of kisses involved.