Friday, February 1, 2008

night, mother (Haha, that was for you BobBob-xoxo)

Some interesting things have been happening in the night time this past week. Normally, the night time means that we stay inside and get the kids to sleep and I work quietly on my laptop for a few hours. Tuesday night, however, mother nature had other plans for our evening. There were storms and then there was no electricity. I suppose we are fortunate that a lack of lighting was our only problem. My friend Amy now has a tree in her doorway due to this storm. The silence and the darkness were just so thick. For a while, it was just me and He-Man on the sofa. He was so fearful. He begged that he could just go to sleep. His anxiety reminded me of myself and I feel so bad for him. After a little while, He-Man was asleep and Donut was awake. She is so different from her brother. She found the wind-up lantern to be intoxicating. The dark? Just an excuse to sit on my lap, kiss me repeatedly, and tell me stories of how she doesn't like "Wow Wow Wubzie" but instead is fond of "Yo Gabba Gabba". Ya ain't sayin', Donut? The whole experience was nearly traumatizing to me, though. I was hyped up on caffeine because I had some work that needed to be done. I was in it for the long haul that evening and the electricity outage was not convenient. I eventually just laid in bed for an extended period of time. Dosing on and off. Mostly this just seemed to give me a headache. Finally, the power came booming back on at nearly 1:30 am, causing the fire alarm to beep, the noise makers in each child's room to return to the birds chirping, and an interruption in the general stillness in the air. I ended up staying awake until 6:30 and then taking a "nap". The whole day threw me off.

The next night I went to MLT to read the first draft of my "One Woman Show". First of all, I received a great deal of positive feedback like: "Well written, Interesting, Kept my Attention, Loved the MAGS story (everyone loves the MAGS story), Filled with humor and emotion, a roller coaster ride, cathartic, brave, honest, has great potential, can certainly picture it being performed." However, the criticism I received helped reiterate what I already knew. I have a ton of work to do on it. I'm having a hard time deciding if I want to go further with the project. At least for the Mamapalooza for this year. I have another idea that I want to begin developing... a series of monologues about moms and motherhood. The common theme would be about keeping your own identity after becoming a mother and how that affects moms throughout the entire motherhood cycle. I'm starting to think that I might be less stressed and happier to make the one woman show my goal for NEXT year. I mean, if I rush it this year and it's mediocre then that's gonna suck worse than if I work on a smaller task for this year's Mamapalooza... like a couple of funny monologues sprinkled throughout the evening.

Not to mention, I have a tv show to develop. I pitched my idea for the Artsy Mamas tv series yesterday. Here is my rough proposal that I turned in:

An Overview:

The mission of the Artsy Mamas program will be to educate mothers and children through the arts and to help mothers and children develop positive relationships and healthy lifestyles.

The program will last for 30 minutes and will be divided into short segments. Most of the show will be filmed in the studio but there will be occasional “on location” segments of Artsy Mamas play dates or workshops. Mothers and children from the community and from the organization Artsy Mamas will contribute their ideas and talent, on and off the screen, to this diverse, energetic, and exciting project. The show will be enjoyed by children and adults. It will be a program that families can watch together.

The Vision:

The opening for this program will be colorful and fun. The Artsy Mamas program will include a variety of segments: mothers and children demonstrating art projects, mothers learning how to do a type of art, mother and child story time, exercise/yoga/dancing/singing, parenting tips, nutrition/food demonstrations and tips, interviews with local mothers (crafters, artists, or moms with other relevant expert knowledge), etc. Our imagination is our only limitation when it comes to creating this fun program. The closing credits will be shown over images of children dancing to fun music!

This program will be broken down into one five minute segment, two ten minute segments, and another five minute segment. Each segment will be high energy and will appeal to both mother and child. The segments will be divided by colorful, high graphic bumpers that might include children, music, art, and movement. Each episode will have a theme (Earth Day, Mother’s Day, Holidays, Being Kind to Others).

A Sample Episode

“Earth Day”

The episode will open with the fun introduction and immediately go into a story time segment where a mother is reading a story with a relevant theme to a small group of children and then there is a question and answer segment. Next, there is a ten minute segment with a mother demonstrating how to create a craft from recycled products or from things laying around the house. The third segment features an interview with a mother(s) who lives an especially “green” lifestyle (such as recycling, thrift store shopping, healthy eating, cloth diapering, etc). The last segment is a demonstration of how to make a delicious spinach smoothie which is well liked by children and easy to make.

They dug it. The Captain and I are well on our way to being a "production team", designing sets, and developing a budget. I have to come up with what I will need, who I will need, and sketches for the set by next week. While I am told that this is really happening, I'm having a really hard time with believing it. The truth is that this fate lies within my hands (and the hands of the rest of the people involved) but I must come up with a sellable product, create it and then go from there. I admit that I'm scared out of my freaking mind but, hey, I have wanted this down deep in my very soul since I was just a little girl. Who knows where this might go? You have to start somewhere and you never know until you give it a try, right?

I suppose the stress of yesterday's adventure caused me to be exhausted, thus oversleep, and then wake up, trembling, because I had a terrible dream where I was screaming, and yelling, and beating on my father. I was going to get my pictures and I kept finding notebooks she'd written in but no pictures. He told me about how he'd given them away to everyone and I kept yelling "Why didn't you tell me first?" and he would never answer me. I felt like I was just beating a poor, pitiful puppy. He couldn't answer me because he truly didn't know the answer. And I felt like crap. I was so filled with rage and I couldn't stop lashing out. When I woke up, I felt horrible. The dream has thrown me off all day long.

Furthermore, our TIVO is officially dead (although a new hard drive is on the way) and we missed "American Idol" this week. I feel lost without my one guilty pleasure.

But the NKOTB fan club is planning to flood TRL with votes for "Tonight" so I see a drastic improvement in my nocturnal patterns in the near future. I look forward to returning to a nice glass of wine, some worthless television, and cuddling on the sofa with the hubby. Not to mention, sweet, sweet dreams.

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