Most people who know me... or know me well... know that I have had a 16 year long love affair with Jon Lovitz. Yes, that is right. Jon Lovitz.
He is my longest lasting boyfriend. Whenever I needed a laugh or a hug (okay, maybe just the laugh) Jon Jon was there, by my side. Never to fail. I fell madly in love with him with I was 14 years old after watching repeats of (back then) several seasons old SNL episodes on Comedy Central.
Master Thespian, Annoying Man, Mephistopheles, Harvey Fierstein, Tommy Flannigan, Hannauka Harry, The Loser on the Street.... sigh. So sexy. So funny. So wonderful. I heart him.
I saw MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD in the theater with my mom. There was one other person in the audience. I squealed when he farted.
His "The Please Watch the Jon Lovitz Special" aired one time. In May of 1992?? I have it on tape. Still. It's in my garage.
And I had my first sex dream about him. Seriously. I won't go into the details but it was pretty hot. Um I swear.
This love affair has waxed and waned throughout the years. But I've mostly remained madly in love with the Lovitz.
And then I noticed today that he was the "Secrect Stand up" guest for some special Myspace show? I dunno. I watched some of his stand up on this link. It was not funny. Balls aren't funny. Gratuitous use of the F word is not funny. And I'm sad. Someone comfort me.